PROFESSIONAL JOURNAL

Feelings Rocks – fostering emotional intelligence through psycho education and Art Therapy.

Hello and welcome to this entry in my professional journal!   In this entry, I share an Art Therapy exercise that also acts as a metaphor that aides my clients to understand their feelings a little easier. As a clinician, I like to use metaphor when talking about feelings due to the complexity, overwhelm, and/or confusion that the topic can bring. The use of metaphor in therapy has a way of simplifying abstract concepts.   I think that using very simple metaphors when learning about emotional intelligence can truly help my clients’ confidence around this often-challenging topic for learning and discussion. I learned this exercise during my second internship at the beginning of my career. It was part of a children’s social/emotional learning group that I facilitated at an elementary school, and I continue to use this Art Therapy directive because I love it so much!   Here we have it: I have a bag or backpack that I show my clients and if I am in-person, I pass the heavy bag around for them to take turns holding it. Typically, my clients will say, “Oh my goodness, it is so heavy! What is in there?” As we open it, we see a bunch of rocks all painted with different colors and expressions representing an array of emotions. I explain that our backpack of feelings rocks can sometimes get very heavy. Sometimes we can feel it and sometimes we do not even realize how much we are carrying around. With the use of metaphor as well as a tangible object, I find that I reach my clients more immediately and they are totally engaged. Seeing and feeling the weight of all those feelings rocks (even the pleasant ones) truly allows for smoother processing and learning. I find that this style of teaching also has all the components of each learning style to reach everyone – including a tactile component. I find the tactile component (as well as visual) very helpful when teaching my clients about emotions because emotions are not visible or something we can hold like an object.     The above digital collages represent examples of some activities while living life — in which we might carry our backpack of emotions with us possibly weighing us down (think of the weight of the rocks). We do such a good job carrying that bag around with us; however, it can be helpful to routinely empty. We start to take out each rock, one by one together and talk about it. When I facilitate group therapy, I ask children to raise their hands. Have you ever felt anger? So often anger is one that more children slightly raise their hand while looking around and then quickly put it down again. “Oh, no, not anger, because that is bad!”   This is always such a great psycho education opportunity in which I can provide for my clients. I explain to them that anger is not a bad emotion, in fact, there are no bad emotions. All emotions are valid and okay! Most children will then feel relieved and confirm they have felt this emotion, allowing them to feel more comfortable raising their hands.   This Art Therapy directive can be helpful for my clients because it opens so many opportunities for learning. We might talk about how there are pleasant emotions and unpleasant ones, not necessarily “good” emotions, or “bad” emotions. We might talk about how important it is to feel and understand both the pleasant and not so pleasant emotions because when we ignore the unpleasant ones, it can take away from the pleasant ones, too. Also, even emotions that are considered “good” or pleasant (like joy, love, safe, happy) can be very difficult to feel for some people and that is okay, too, and discuss the reasons why. Also, we talk about how important it is to express or feel those pleasant feelings. This emotional world is very dynamic, complex, and unique for each individual.   I always find time to teach my clients that we might feel “bad”, or shame/guilt based on how we express our anger. We talk about healthy and unhealthy ways to express anger or any emotions that my client(s) feel is unpleasant to them.   I made a poster/collage when I first learned this Art Therapy directive that depicted healthy and unhealthy ways to express our emotions. It is fun to go through these and talk about them and ask my clients what they think. I replicated the poster below for you. These images represent only a few examples of unhealthy and healthy ways to express/feel/cope with emotions.   It is important to explain excess here as well. Watching some TV is not necessarily unhealthy, but in excess can be. On my physical poster, I also have exercise under unhealthy and explain that too much exercise can harm us, etc. There are so many ideas to draw upon just based on this directive for continued learning. Clients can make their own personal collages (physical or digital – print or hang them up) and the list goes on about all the possibilities! And, as we take the feelings rocks out of our backpack and talk about them, express and feel them in healthy ways… our backpack gets lighter. It is a lot of work, however, it does get easier the more we practice it! It can feel pleasant to give ourselves some acknowledgment for our hard work and efforts. I would even say that this step at the end of unloading our feelings rocks is important. That acknowledgment is unique to what the client needs personally. Simply telling yourself you did a good job, giving yourself a hug or a smile, feeling the value of your efforts; feeling pride or another feeling that comes up for you, and trying to internalize your growing emotional intelligence, learning — your emotional independence! This can be more difficult than it sounds to internalize the praise you give yourself…
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My Animal Friends: a creative children’s book/resource.

Hello! In this entry, I get to share the recent children´s book/resource that I made! I have put the book in the resource store for you to purchase and here I will talk about what the book is about and who and how it can be used. My Animal Friends was so fun to make and I am looking forward to making more creative resources like this one. Stay tuned for more resources to come! My Animal Friends is a children´s book written and illustrated by me. You will receive a PDF version of this book as well as audios of the mindfulness meditations (Sun & Moon that are also listed as separate resources in my store – these mediations go along with the book) in addition to the audio where I read the story to you or your child as an option to read the story on their own or the adult can read to the child in their own voice. As a listener to my audios, one can learn through my tone of voice and expression how to read to children so that your reading is appropriate to a child´s development and cognitive level of development. I created this little children’s book for the children I work with as a child therapist, and I wanted to share it with the world. Therapists, teachers, and parents/family can u|se this book to help children in a playful and creative way connect with animals. The animals are special to each child, and they can call them anything that resonates with them! They can help a child feel safe, protected, connected more to nature and themselves. This book and exercises can help children to access their imaginations and creativity which is such an important part of child development.     Connecting to nature and animals can truly help children feel a greater sense of belonging and an overall friendlier and playful attitude with their environment which increases a child’s overall sense of ease and wellbeing!  The illustrations look as if a child made them, making them friendly and appropriate for child development and room for imagination to make their own stories. My Animal Friends is not only a children´s book, but it also invites your child to make their own story. This booklet also provides writing prompts and examples/templates for children to make their very own story! This booklet has been a great addition to my digital resource library as a licensed therapist and Art Therapist and for a fun project to do with children in general outside of my work. This booklet can also be printed out along with the pages that act as an outline for your child to create their own book. The outlined pages guide children in the creation of their own stories add some structure, however are not necessary. The adult facilitating the project with the child or children can decide how they might want to give the child or children options based on their needs. Most children need some kind of structure, however, some children may read the story and have enough information for their own story and may need freedom with several blank pages and no specific outline. Drawing their image on the top part of each page and writing on the bottom half of each page, gluing on lined paper, or making lines like the last image below in this entry which can also be printed for your children´s stories! This resource has so much value for children. There are so many creative ways to use it, adding to its value! I love books like these that inspire children and their imaginations rather than books that feature only the author´s story but do not help by prompting children to be their own authors and artists, etc. Many children read stories and wonder how they can be like the author or artist, but rarely do children´s books, prompt children, but can often seem separate from the child´s personal experience, ideas, and creativity unless promoted by an adult or teacher. I believe that children´s books should have images and writing that help children access their own gifts and help them to master skills of their own. Please refer to page 28 of the ebook, featured here for fun ways to use this book! It is a fun and creative resource for clinicians, parents, teachers, and/or yourself.       Here is the link to check in out in the Resource Center Store: https://rachelshearttherapy.com/product/my-animal-friends/ Happy creating and have fun! Creatively, Rachel Howard, LMFT, ATR-BC, RYT All images © Rachel Howard Friendly disclaimer: This book cannot act as a substitute for work with a licensed therapist. This book can be used as a tool in therapy by licensed therapists. I encourage and recommend clinicians to seek clinical consultation with a trained Art Therapist when using this book therapeutically.

A mandala a day art practice.

Welcome to this new professional entry! This entry is going to be short and sweet. I am tuning in to share a video I made of a little art journal, each page/spread filled with a mandala for the day. This practice was something I learned about as an Art Therapist. It is simple and easy to practice each day. This kind of daily practice is for self-care purposes, but mandalas can offer us a vessel for healing, too. This art practice can offer a moment to check in with ourselves, process something about our day, reflect, make sense of, re-center, or soothe. I use mandalas as an Art Therapist for a variety of reasons based on the needs of my clients. Mandalas can be used as a tool to help restore a sense of mental balance. There are many ways to create mandalas! Mandalas and geometric patterns are found everywhere in nature – I find this fascinating. There are pre-made mandalas, make-your-own mandalas, sand mandalas, mixed media mandalas, sacred mandalas like yantras, nature mandalas, and symbolic mandalas, oh so many kinds of mandalas! A mandala can be described simply as a circle. It is also known as a sacred circle where something special resides in the circle. The circle provides containment for what lives inside it, often holding and containing what resides there. The containing is helpful because it allows for a more secure pause because we know that whatever it is we put there is held. Art Therapists can also use this practice as response art after sessions with clients to process the session/images created by their clients. In this little art journal, I played around with different materials (I recommend the thicker paper for mixed media art journals). The materials I used for this art journal: paint, marker, colored pencil, pen, collage, spray paint, glitter, and even tin foil. These little bite-size pages are nice because it is also a way to explore different materials in a contained way which can reduce anxiety because you are just filling up this small circle and that is all for the day. And that is all for this entry, folks! Thank you so much for allowing me to share this super fun entry. I hope you enjoyed reading and watching. Happy Mandala-ing, Rachel Howard, LMFT, ATR-BC, RYT All images © Rachel Howard Friendly reminder (disclaimer): The information in this entry is not therapy and cannot be a substitute for work with a licensed therapist. The information in the entry is only intended for educational purposes around the topic of Art Therapy, a different perspective, or ideas for self-care/wellbeing, and food for thought.

Victim Shaming: when ignorance is not bliss.

Welcome to this professional entry! Here, I write about a very important topic in the trauma and psychology field of study called: “victim shaming”. I remember learning about this topic very early on in my career while in my first internship at an Emergency Domestic Violence shelter. Even though I learned about this topic, I do not remember it ever having an actual term called: “victim shaming” although I do remember material around not blaming the victim for what happened to them. However, back then, there was not an actual term (used in my specific training) to define a whole host of inappropriate treatment toward trauma victims around shaming or blaming them. It could be that we did not spend too much time on this topic because most people who are naturals in this field, to be frank: get it very quickly and easily due to their empathic nature. This is one common innate gift of many therapists that feel called to be of service to help others.  Therapists go through trauma-sensitive/informed training and education to ensure that they are not contributing and perpetuating their client’s trauma. Reflecting on this is sad for me, not only as a therapist but as a human empath with a beating heart. In my trauma-informed training and experience over the years; it always felt like common sense and intuitive as I stated previously. In both the realm of humane (being human) as well as clinical (being a therapist), too!  As therapists, we enter very vulnerable, wounded, fragile places with an individual who is suffering or seeking help. I learned that of course – why would we “shame” or “blame” a victim of trauma for what happened to them, for their reaction to the trauma that happened to them, or tell them things like the following: “It’s all in your head” “It really wasn’t that big of a deal””You are making it bigger than it was””You need to get over it and move on””You need to toughen up and stop complaining””You should just stop focusing on it””Maybe you should see your part in what happened to you””Maybe it happened for a reason””You’re an adult, you should get over it”“Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!” … to name a few examples of responses that fall under the umbrella of victim shaming. It is disheartening that we must have a term for this act/mistreatment, however, I have grown to be very grateful for the term because of how common victim shaming is. This way it can be identified and that is very helpful. Having terms can help to diffuse confusion, misperceptions, misinformation, and point us toward the right direction: toward clarity, growth and learning, and the development of our intellect which is thirsty for knowledge and to understand. Being a victim is real and it is part of the process of healing from traumatic or adverse experiences. Shaming victims is a sad truth throughout history: back in the “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” days when there was an even higher stigma around mental health issues as well as even less research in the field of mental health/psychology/trauma. Unfortunately, victim shaming is still alive and thriving today. Having a word for it is relieving to me because there is no way around the term itself, we must face it: by educating ourselves.   Re-examine all you have been told in school or church or in any book, and dismiss whatever insults your own soul; and your very flesh shall be a great poem, and have the richest fluency, not only in its words, but in the silent lines of its lips and face, and between the lashes of your eyes, and in every motion and joint of your body. Walt Whitman The quote above is one of my favorites by Walt Whitman in his book of poetry: Leaves of Grass. It breathes permission to dismiss what insults your soul which I place here to empower you if victim shaming has ever happened to you. As I wrote out the examples of victim shaming phrases (listed above in bold), I hold my heart as it breaks. Just know, that you do not deserve to be treated this way and it is important to have expectations of people, while also carrying the knowledge that a lot of people are not educated on this topic or have the emotional intelligence and insight to react appropriately. We hold both as best we can! We must not confuse “resiliency” for “victim shaming” as they are two very different acts. I will write more about what resiliency truly is in future posts, a favorite topic of mine, especially in the last few years. Oftentimes, individuals think victim shaming is somehow pushing the person to “be stronger” this is like resiliency wearing a mask: it is pseudo resiliency. Victim shaming is in fact not helping to build resiliency. At the most it’s like a dirty old band aid – it might cover the wound protecting it a little bit, however kind of continue infecting it. Often victim shaming was part of an individual’s trauma. It’s like being in the boxing ring and you get one hit to the side of the head, it knocks you out, and while you’re down they’re telling you to get back up and keep fighting. Most likely you have a concussion, cannot even feel that side of your face or think clearly, and you’re not even sure if you’re okay. Victim shaming is like that. You keep trying to brush yourself off and keep fighting even though you have just suffered major trauma. There is no level of severity of trauma one can endure that gives the right to victim shaming. Victim shaming is damaging to any severity of trauma (the big T’s and the little T’s). Normal life should not feel like a boxing match where you are the punching bag (on any level including emotionally and mentally/psychologically). We need time to make sure we are okay, to feel…
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Suicidality, Trauma, & Veggie Burgers

In this professional journal entry, I talk about a topic that is often a difficult one. Upon finishing a recent training specifically on suicidality (that is now required for continuing education for maintaining my MFT licensure in the state of California) I have a lot to share! Licensed therapists in every state in the U.S. must take continuing education training as part of continuing to practice as licensed therapists. The purpose of this is because mental health is a growing field, information and research are always changing and updating and it also ensures that therapists keep up with learning the most updated information helping to ensure best practice. It is a wonderful system, and I was happy to take the extra six hours now required on suicidality. Suicidality encompasses suicidal ideation which are thoughts and feelings about death by suicide, suicide plans or intent, and suicide attempts. The recent training, I took was called: “Suicide Prevention, Assessment and Intervention” run by Ben Caldwell, PsyD, LMFT who tackles the latest suicide research! The goal of this training is for us therapists to continue to aid in the reduction of deaths by suicide. Notice how we now use and have for a little while now, but still is new, the term: “death by suicide” instead of “committing suicide”. This is because the term “committing suicide” is simply not appropriate anymore: it entails that the person took their own life and there is so much unnecessary shame and misunderstanding that comes with using this term. We know enough about suicidality that the individual experiencing this is feeling that this is the only way; and that there are no other options. This is the truth about the crushing experience of any aspect of suicidality. When folks struggle with suicidality, they truly feel it is the only option. When studying the research and working with patients as a clinician: one of the most insightful and valuable things I must express is that oftentimes when someone is struggling with suicidality: they do not want to talk about it, to anyone – this includes mental health professionals. Now, we are getting closer to how we as clinicians can try our very best to reduce deaths by suicide. In the training I took taught by Ben Caldwell, he says that therapists need to say the word “suicide” like the word “hamburger”: personally, I like “veggie burger” not for any meaningful reason other than I just like the sound of it better. This is not to dismiss the pain, suffering, trauma, experience, and significance of suicidality. More so, we do this as clinicians in a very skillful way within the therapeutic relationship (ex: within how we say words, our tone of voice, and facial expressions, using meta-communication skills) in which we talk about suicidality. We say it in this way so our dear patients know that we can handle this topic and it’s okay to talk openly about it and that we can help them, and they are not alone in what they are experiencing. This skillful way of communicating about suicidality can save more lives and is so valuable. It builds trust and safety which are so very important for the therapeutic alliance in establishing a safe space to talk about this as it comes up. Of course, this kind of communication is not to come across as “flat” or dismissive, but to lessen the blow of fear around the topic in a safe and secure way. Phew! Difficult conversations, difficult emotions, and experiences: they are never easy! “It is okay to talk about this. I want you to talk about this and I can handle what you have to say. I am here with you, and I know what to do to help you. We are going to get through this together. You are so brave for telling me.” It is so unbelievably grounding to hear these words when faced with this difficult topic. Clinically, I notice, that it is very normal, natural, and needed for folks struggling with suicidality to know that someone knows what to do. Like the “solid responsive and in-tune parent” and as therapists, we model and provide this to our patients. It is normal in the face of suicidality to truly “blank out” and not be able to see that there are other options. Normalizing this is key and aiding in safety planning and safer options is also so important along with assessing safety and level of risk. Safety always comes first, and we communicate this to our patients in a way that shows them we care. “I care about you; it is my job to keep you safe. We will unravel this and figure this out together!” Also, I want to mention here how often unresolved trauma is linked to suicidality, which is also a very common and normal reaction to trauma. After the training I took solely on suicidality and best clinical practice: I began reflecting on how we can also use this “veggie burger” skill when working with trauma; especially since suicidality and trauma are often so linked. The word trauma is very used, and we need that word because it describes something very important just like suicidality: however, words can be so scary and traumatizing in themselves when we are at the height of these difficult feelings or the process of recovering/healing in the messy aftermath of traumatic experiences. So, I practiced (on myself) calling trauma “veggie burger” too! Just to see how it felt. I can report back to you that I found it helpful. I started to think about how in life we have the single patty veggies burgers. (Keep following me here!) We have the whooper veggie burgers and the big whopper veggies burgers. Just like we have the mini traumas and bigger traumas. When working with trauma, we as therapists must never compare traumas and that is not what we are doing here. I feel like this kind of communication can help to soften the fear naturally linked…
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“Just Like Us” Mural Painting Art Therapy Professional Research Project

The image above shows the mural I painted and left behind for the children at the end of my research project. The finished mural we painted over the course of 8 months is not shown as it is a confidential piece of art that lives in an emergency domestic violence shelter at a protected location in the Bay Area, CA where the research was facilitated. I received a grant from the non-profit agency I was working for at the time, and this enabled me to do a lengthier study: atypical for my graduate program. It also helped that I had a supervisor who believed in my work and was tremendously supportive of my deep passion for the field I am in! As you can see from the above image, “home” was a big theme within my research project! The goal or hypothesis for my mural painting project (which was accumulative over the course of 8 months, children coming and going from the shelter, and leaving their “mark” or message on the mural) was: to increase feelings of home and belongingness and decrease feelings of isolation. The results of my project supported tremendous success in my goal, hypothesis, and intention of this very special research so close to my heart! Through the research I conducted, I also discovered other amazing therapeutic benefits proven by the results of my project. This was so fun and insightful to learn.  This is one of the best things I have ever done in my life, and I am so excited to write more and facilitate more research throughout my life. After 8 months, of writing over 200 pages, and tons of reading, and editing; I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. I love this work with all my heart.   The thesis won an award! A proud moment and so proud of all the children (who truly were the ones who won this award) – who all are the biggest heroes in this world. I was blown away by their tremendous courage and resilience. I learned the most from them upon sharing their story with me. 2012-13 Presented with “Outstanding Thesis Award” by the Art Therapy Department NDNU, SF Bay, CA for valuable research contribution in the field of Art Therapy.  “The Art Therapy department has voted to award you for your outstanding thesis! You made a unique contribution with your work at the shelter and your mural work is significant to the field of Art Therapy.” -NDNU Art Therapy Department It was so nice to reflect, and I am excited to finish writing my proposal and planning for my next research project!    You can read the abstract to my research thesis on my Publication and Media page and it has also been archived here. My original abstract has a repeated sentence error, how embarrassing! My professors and I are still not sure how we did not catch this in all our edits. This goes to show that we are all human! Something I learned about myself as a writer and researcher: it is not my strength to edit my own work. I often depend on professors and peer readers. I like to edit the work of my peers, however, not my own. I think this is very common, as the artist. It is always great to have multiple eyes on a project for a critique of professionals in which their feedback and opinion you find of value.  Excited to share more soon! Thanks for tuning in,  Rachel Howard, LMFT, ATR-BC, RYT All images © Rachel Howard Friendly reminder (disclaimer): The information in this entry is not therapy and cannot be a substitute for work with a licensed therapist. The information in the entry is only intended for educational purposes around the topic of Art Therapy research.

Closure Art in Group Therapy Setting

In this professional entry, I share one of my favorite Art Therapy directives that I enjoy using in group therapy! The image above depicts my finished Art Therapy “product” or special art object. This was done during our group’s last Art Therapy group session together. The Art Therapist cuts little pieces of card stock, Bristol board, mixed media, or watercolor paper (often scraps can be used: cut into smaller pieces with enough room to write a small phrase or a couple of words on). These little pieces of paper can have colors or paint on them to give it a nice background for your written expression. Each group member has the same number of pieces of paper as the sum of the number of members in the group including one for themselves. All pieces of paper are placed by each member’s blank wooden doorknob hanger (it does not have to be wooden or even a doorknob hanger – it can be another kind of object: 3D or 2D: paper/canvas, etc.) We sat in a circle, on cushions on the floor: members can be seated at a table as well, whatever is cohesive and comfortable for the group. “People leave traces of themselves where they feel most comfortable, most worthwhile.”  Haruki Murakami   We chose a direction and began the movement! Each group member walks over to another group member’s art space in the chosen direction (to the right or left) and therefore arrives at their neighbor’s art space. They take one piece of paper in their hand and heartfully reflect on that specific group member and allow a phrase, or another descriptive word(s) to come to them that represents the group member or their “essence” which was the language we used in this soulful artsy group. It can be based on whatever language or words your group is comfortable with!  The group member writes it on the piece of paper, and we do that until we get through everyone, returning to our original art space with a handful of sweet anonymous written love notes to reflect on, cherish, and internalize all the goodness – a very sweet moment… and with one piece of paper left for ourselves. On this last piece of paper, we do the same for ourselves! We then glued all these pieces of paper on our wooden door hanger to complete the Art Therapy directive!  This little door hanger is so packed with love and meaning and was something I cherished for years after this specific Art Therapy group that I participated in and helped to facilitate with an old professor of mine. It acted as a reminder of the diversity and sincerity of connections I made during that group, the healing work I did, the memories of the safe environment that was held for us to explore, learn, and process together. It helped me take all of that with me after the group, helping me with closure and my integration process upon ending our group! Happy integrating!  Many heartfelt blessings, Rachel Howard, LMFT, ATR-BC, RYT All images © Rachel Howard Friendly reminder (disclaimer): The information in this entry is not therapy and cannot be a substitute for work with a licensed therapist. The information in the entry is only intended for educational purposes around the topic of Art Therapy, a different perspective, or ideas for self-care/wellbeing and food for thought.

Debunking the “Twin Flame” Theory

A little friendly disclaimer here (insert smiley face!): if you resonate or identify strongly with the theory of twin flames, this entry might not be for you. My intention behind this writing is to provide my perspective as a psychotherapist (around this widely used term) who is both spiritually oriented and grounded in psychology. My Perspective In my work as a psychotherapist, I believe the way in which the word/concept of “twin flames” is used in today’s culture is generally frothy and unhealthy. Although there may be some ways one can use the concept to better understand a relationship, at the end of the day, it holds very little substance. If we look at the concept of twin flames as we would a myth, fairy tale, or other sacred text we can find teaching and a lesson from it, but if we take it literally, one can linger in the mere disillusionment of it. Twin Flame is a Myth: Origins The word “twin flame” derived originally from the philosopher: Plato, in his mythic dialogue named “The Symposium “where he describes mythic humans that had two faces, extra limbs: the gods splitting them in half which created humans, the way we see them today. Therefore, we know the actual term comes from a myth-like story; meaning that it is not literal. As adults, myths should be read with the intention that there is internal teaching or lesson that brings forth meaning often using metaphor, imagination, and archetypes which help to bridge the personal with the universal. For children, myths like fairy tales are a natural language and of much emotional and social value, aiding children in their development and integrating both hemispheres of their brain’s: specifically in developing a sense of a moral compass, empathy, and creativity (right brain) with language, facts, and logic (left brain). Metaphor and fantasy when combined in an intentional and skillful way, and with thoughtful imagery (by an artist who understands child development) are of value for children’s growth and can help them in understanding more expansive concepts like compassion, humility, and more. Children naturally start to connect morality and meaning within a story, and this is the same approach I think is needed when determining personal and universal meaning from the story of the “twin flame”. It is worthwhile to propose questions about concepts such as twin flames; basic questions that aid in evaluating the idea with our personal felt sense, beliefs, and knowledge base, but also compared to our understanding of relative significant findings within large bodies of literature and/or research such as psychology, mythology, science, philosophy, religious and spiritual teachings, and practices, and much more. Astrology & Twin Flames The field of astrology is very vast, a very large body of information, some of which dates to very ancient civilizations. If twin flames mean that one’s soul becomes split and become identical to another’s soul’s blueprint and is now a mirror or identical to the other person’s soul: indicating that now two people have the same or part of the same soul as each other… this concept does not fit within the basis of the science of astrology. We know deeply in astrology that we have our own blueprint and our own soul. It would be that we were born under the same stars and planet placements as someone else, and that is impossible. In my studies of couple’s natal charts, I can see how certain aspects can complement the other, but through my lens and experience with working with clients therapeutically as a couples therapist, one can often find complementary aspects in just about any chosen relationship depending on what kind of story we want to write together. Astrology can be used to strengthen any relationship by developing more understanding and compassion for each other by seeing their partner’s personal challenges and areas of growth, how to better support each other or hold space for one another; a tool for working through specific themes in the relationship that present as challenges and differences and finding the gift there. When used in a therapeutic way: astrology cannot be used in “fraudulent ways” to confirm identity or fused personality of a relationship (by defining it as twin flames through oppositions or complementary aspects in someone’s natal chart when comparing it to another): identity is developed and created over time as the relationship grows, first starting from a solid sense of our own personality and identity. Identifying your relationship as a twin flame can often stick your relationship in what can feel like a tiny echo chamber. Yikes.   Spirituality Meets Psychology: Twin Flames A twin flame is also thought of as someone whom we feel a very strong mutual attraction to, someone who brings out the parts in us where healing or self-development is reflected within our connection to them. The common twin flames belief is that you are presented with this person to help heal these wounds with each other and through each other. A twin flame is commonly spoken of as someone whom one quickly feels fast chemistry but may more realistically struggle with a sense of self, healthy boundaries, automatic trust, personal independence, personal power, internalizing core values, and understanding concepts of compatibility which often comes with life experience and/or being modeled and taught this as a child who grew up witnessing and having healthy relationships and social guidance when needed. Oftentimes people report twin flame relationships to be addicting and codependent, tiptoeing around an unspoken knowingness; using twin flames as a bypass for healing work that they later realize they cannot do through another wounded person. This happens often among many kinds of relationships and this fiery magnetic pull rooted in unhealed wounds is often misinterpreted as a spiritual awakening.   Chemistry is a pleasant social interaction, exchange of energy, or experience – it is enjoyable and fun, however, the real depth of magic in relationships lies in what matters the most as you truly get to know someone: how you treat each other. One can…
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Individuation, Art Therapy & Astrology

In my studies in Astrology and Spirituality, I love the belief that although we are born pure and as a blank canvas as little human babies (awaiting the excitement of natural human development) we are also born with innate gifts: each one of us. These are not talents or skills, but effortless gifts; it is what makes us so special – it is typically what we came here to share with the world! I believe these gifts are embedded in our souls. The goal of Esoteric Astrology is to integrate our soul with our personality. I love that. A soulful personality, one that breaths authenticity, meaning, wisdom, and depth. I like to use the metaphor of your favorite jacket (the jacket is your personality/ego) it does not just look “cool”, is your style or suits you well; it also truly feels “cool” it feels good on you, it breathes the essence of you. This is a way one can conceptualize a personality that has a soul. (I’m open to new analogies, too!) It requires an effort, interest, and level of maturity of our caregivers to nurture their child(ren) and their child(ren)’s gifts and true Self in an emotionally safe environment early on which is the only kind of environment where one can grow in a healthy way. We need the freedom to color (outside the lines), explore, and just be. This nurturing or holding space is an environment where basic concepts of love are not enough: being an extension of your parents/caregivers or a fusion of sorts due to the biological fact that we depended on them to survive. It requires deeper forms of love and intelligence (the job of a parent requires a level of self-mastery): differentiation as a form of respect. This kind of respect is the basis of a very safe and grounding love that gives children the potential to be their own person while still having the healthy attachment and fusion a child needs in their development. Differentiation is key to happiness. Respect is differentiation: you belong to yourself, and you’re an extension of no one.  Barbara Sher How can we expect so much from our children if we cannot differentiate and allow them to individuate guilt/shame-free into their own person? This is the root of so much distress and suffering. Through travel and study, I find that the structure of the Self is as simple or complex as we make it. For example, I love the ancient language of the stars which derives from ancient civilizations such as the Aztec Mayans and Egyptians: Astrology helps me see that we have many different facets! For example, the personality (sun), the emotional body (moon), the spirit (rising/ascendant), the mind/intellect (mercury), and so much more! I believe the stars have a lot to teach us. I had so much fun doing a personal Art Therapy project with some acrylic paint and a set of wooden Russian Nesting Dolls. Studying my natal chart helps me to understand myself and this Art Therapy project truly helped me to integrate parts of myself into who I am as a whole person. With healthy differentiation (even if we must break away from unhealthy attachments ourselves); we then can truly individuate! It is common to struggle with this process growing up or as an adult which is often linked naturally to our role models (our own parents/caregivers) and their personal Self process struggle. As a therapist, I see how the anxieties of our parent’s undeveloped personalities and overall Self often subconsciously become the unrealistic responsibility of their children. Often, in therapy, this reality becomes conscious which is the first step in reclaiming the identity: individuation (becoming an individual) should be FUN! This is the fun part of becoming who you want to be, learning, growing, evolving, and healing. In Jungian Psychology, individuation is the creation of Self which is the process in which the various aspects of personality are integrated. So, now we talk about integration. This whole being a human thing… has layers depending on how we look at it. I hold the belief as a therapist and person that we are all trying to move toward wholeness, especially when we hold the belief that we are already whole. We truly are; it is just that sometimes we need help, guidance, or support in getting there due to a lack of support, guidance, or help in the past. If we are all naturally moving toward wholeness; we are also all naturally integrating. We integrate every day. Through our dreams and sleep, through feeling safe, grounded, and secure; through learning new things that resonate with us specifically and applying those new learnings to our lives, through movement, breath, meditation, spending time in nature, talking to someone to process what we think, feel, and know… writing, making art, and so much more. When we integrate; we make information, wisdom, knowledge, healing… all part of who we are: coming into wholeness. All parts of Self become One! I love this Russian Nesting Doll metaphor or symbol of the Self. As an Art Therapist, I find making art to be supportive in therapy, especially because it becomes a transitional object during a specific time in our process. The art becomes a meaningful visual that speaks to us deeply and something that we can see every day in our environment which can help us to integrate. I love Object Relational Theory and with this theory, transitional objects are innate in our development and are very supportive. One of mine was a light teal glow worm stuffed animal when I was a child! It could be a special blanket, a pet, a toy, or something you formed a supportive healthy attachment to. In Art Therapy, we are practicing forming healthy attachments to our art as well. How neat is that?! For example, this art object, at the time I made it, was so meaningful and supportive to me. I placed it near me in my home and…
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Based in SF Bay Area, CA, currently offering telemedicine California wide & off-site clinical supervision.

mft@rachelshearttherapy.com

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