Tag: therapy

Feelings Rocks – fostering emotional intelligence through psycho education and Art Therapy.

Hello and welcome to this entry in my professional journal!   In this entry, I share an Art Therapy exercise that also acts as a metaphor that aides my clients to understand their feelings a little easier. As a clinician, I like to use metaphor when talking about feelings due to the complexity, overwhelm, and/or confusion that the topic can bring. The use of metaphor in therapy has a way of simplifying abstract concepts.   I think that using very simple metaphors when learning about emotional intelligence can truly help my clients’ confidence around this often-challenging topic for learning and discussion. I learned this exercise during my second internship at the beginning of my career. It was part of a children’s social/emotional learning group that I facilitated at an elementary school, and I continue to use this Art Therapy directive because I love it so much!   Here we have it: I have a bag or backpack that I show my clients and if I am in-person, I pass the heavy bag around for them to take turns holding it. Typically, my clients will say, “Oh my goodness, it is so heavy! What is in there?” As we open it, we see a bunch of rocks all painted with different colors and expressions representing an array of emotions. I explain that our backpack of feelings rocks can sometimes get very heavy. Sometimes we can feel it and sometimes we do not even realize how much we are carrying around. With the use of metaphor as well as a tangible object, I find that I reach my clients more immediately and they are totally engaged. Seeing and feeling the weight of all those feelings rocks (even the pleasant ones) truly allows for smoother processing and learning. I find that this style of teaching also has all the components of each learning style to reach everyone – including a tactile component. I find the tactile component (as well as visual) very helpful when teaching my clients about emotions because emotions are not visible or something we can hold like an object.     The above digital collages represent examples of some activities while living life — in which we might carry our backpack of emotions with us possibly weighing us down (think of the weight of the rocks). We do such a good job carrying that bag around with us; however, it can be helpful to routinely empty. We start to take out each rock, one by one together and talk about it. When I facilitate group therapy, I ask children to raise their hands. Have you ever felt anger? So often anger is one that more children slightly raise their hand while looking around and then quickly put it down again. “Oh, no, not anger, because that is bad!”   This is always such a great psycho education opportunity in which I can provide for my clients. I explain to them that anger is not a bad emotion, in fact, there are no bad emotions. All emotions are valid and okay! Most children will then feel relieved and confirm they have felt this emotion, allowing them to feel more comfortable raising their hands.   This Art Therapy directive can be helpful for my clients because it opens so many opportunities for learning. We might talk about how there are pleasant emotions and unpleasant ones, not necessarily “good” emotions, or “bad” emotions. We might talk about how important it is to feel and understand both the pleasant and not so pleasant emotions because when we ignore the unpleasant ones, it can take away from the pleasant ones, too. Also, even emotions that are considered “good” or pleasant (like joy, love, safe, happy) can be very difficult to feel for some people and that is okay, too, and discuss the reasons why. Also, we talk about how important it is to express or feel those pleasant feelings. This emotional world is very dynamic, complex, and unique for each individual.   I always find time to teach my clients that we might feel “bad”, or shame/guilt based on how we express our anger. We talk about healthy and unhealthy ways to express anger or any emotions that my client(s) feel is unpleasant to them.   I made a poster/collage when I first learned this Art Therapy directive that depicted healthy and unhealthy ways to express our emotions. It is fun to go through these and talk about them and ask my clients what they think. I replicated the poster below for you. These images represent only a few examples of unhealthy and healthy ways to express/feel/cope with emotions.   It is important to explain excess here as well. Watching some TV is not necessarily unhealthy, but in excess can be. On my physical poster, I also have exercise under unhealthy and explain that too much exercise can harm us, etc. There are so many ideas to draw upon just based on this directive for continued learning. Clients can make their own personal collages (physical or digital – print or hang them up) and the list goes on about all the possibilities! And, as we take the feelings rocks out of our backpack and talk about them, express and feel them in healthy ways… our backpack gets lighter. It is a lot of work, however, it does get easier the more we practice it! It can feel pleasant to give ourselves some acknowledgment for our hard work and efforts. I would even say that this step at the end of unloading our feelings rocks is important. That acknowledgment is unique to what the client needs personally. Simply telling yourself you did a good job, giving yourself a hug or a smile, feeling the value of your efforts; feeling pride or another feeling that comes up for you, and trying to internalize your growing emotional intelligence, learning — your emotional independence! This can be more difficult than it sounds to internalize the praise you give yourself…
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Individuation, Art Therapy & Astrology

In my studies in Astrology and Spirituality, I love the belief that although we are born pure and as a blank canvas as little human babies (awaiting the excitement of natural human development) we are also born with innate gifts: each one of us. These are not talents or skills, but effortless gifts; it is what makes us so special – it is typically what we came here to share with the world! I believe these gifts are embedded in our souls. The goal of Esoteric Astrology is to integrate our soul with our personality. I love that. A soulful personality, one that breaths authenticity, meaning, wisdom, and depth. I like to use the metaphor of your favorite jacket (the jacket is your personality/ego) it does not just look “cool”, is your style or suits you well; it also truly feels “cool” it feels good on you, it breathes the essence of you. This is a way one can conceptualize a personality that has a soul. (I’m open to new analogies, too!) It requires an effort, interest, and level of maturity of our caregivers to nurture their child(ren) and their child(ren)’s gifts and true Self in an emotionally safe environment early on which is the only kind of environment where one can grow in a healthy way. We need the freedom to color (outside the lines), explore, and just be. This nurturing or holding space is an environment where basic concepts of love are not enough: being an extension of your parents/caregivers or a fusion of sorts due to the biological fact that we depended on them to survive. It requires deeper forms of love and intelligence (the job of a parent requires a level of self-mastery): differentiation as a form of respect. This kind of respect is the basis of a very safe and grounding love that gives children the potential to be their own person while still having the healthy attachment and fusion a child needs in their development. Differentiation is key to happiness. Respect is differentiation: you belong to yourself, and you’re an extension of no one.  Barbara Sher How can we expect so much from our children if we cannot differentiate and allow them to individuate guilt/shame-free into their own person? This is the root of so much distress and suffering. Through travel and study, I find that the structure of the Self is as simple or complex as we make it. For example, I love the ancient language of the stars which derives from ancient civilizations such as the Aztec Mayans and Egyptians: Astrology helps me see that we have many different facets! For example, the personality (sun), the emotional body (moon), the spirit (rising/ascendant), the mind/intellect (mercury), and so much more! I believe the stars have a lot to teach us. I had so much fun doing a personal Art Therapy project with some acrylic paint and a set of wooden Russian Nesting Dolls. Studying my natal chart helps me to understand myself and this Art Therapy project truly helped me to integrate parts of myself into who I am as a whole person. With healthy differentiation (even if we must break away from unhealthy attachments ourselves); we then can truly individuate! It is common to struggle with this process growing up or as an adult which is often linked naturally to our role models (our own parents/caregivers) and their personal Self process struggle. As a therapist, I see how the anxieties of our parent’s undeveloped personalities and overall Self often subconsciously become the unrealistic responsibility of their children. Often, in therapy, this reality becomes conscious which is the first step in reclaiming the identity: individuation (becoming an individual) should be FUN! This is the fun part of becoming who you want to be, learning, growing, evolving, and healing. In Jungian Psychology, individuation is the creation of Self which is the process in which the various aspects of personality are integrated. So, now we talk about integration. This whole being a human thing… has layers depending on how we look at it. I hold the belief as a therapist and person that we are all trying to move toward wholeness, especially when we hold the belief that we are already whole. We truly are; it is just that sometimes we need help, guidance, or support in getting there due to a lack of support, guidance, or help in the past. If we are all naturally moving toward wholeness; we are also all naturally integrating. We integrate every day. Through our dreams and sleep, through feeling safe, grounded, and secure; through learning new things that resonate with us specifically and applying those new learnings to our lives, through movement, breath, meditation, spending time in nature, talking to someone to process what we think, feel, and know… writing, making art, and so much more. When we integrate; we make information, wisdom, knowledge, healing… all part of who we are: coming into wholeness. All parts of Self become One! I love this Russian Nesting Doll metaphor or symbol of the Self. As an Art Therapist, I find making art to be supportive in therapy, especially because it becomes a transitional object during a specific time in our process. The art becomes a meaningful visual that speaks to us deeply and something that we can see every day in our environment which can help us to integrate. I love Object Relational Theory and with this theory, transitional objects are innate in our development and are very supportive. One of mine was a light teal glow worm stuffed animal when I was a child! It could be a special blanket, a pet, a toy, or something you formed a supportive healthy attachment to. In Art Therapy, we are practicing forming healthy attachments to our art as well. How neat is that?! For example, this art object, at the time I made it, was so meaningful and supportive to me. I placed it near me in my home and…
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